Grade Six Revisited: On Books, Trees, and Great Teachers

Can a teacher have a lasting impact on the life of a student? 

Absolutely. 

Or at least that’s been my experience. 

It has been 40 years since I last sat in Miss Whitson’s Grade Six classroom at Green Glade Public School in Mississauga and yet I still feel her influence each and every day. 

Sometimes it’s in little ways: I’ll start to write a sentence that ends in the word “before” (“I’ve never had that kind of tea before”) and I’ll hear her voice in my head asking “Before what?” (Ending a sentence with “before” was one of her grammatical pet peeves!) 

But at other times, her influence is bigger. Much bigger. I’ll be sitting at my desk, trying to decide on a topic for an article or a book, and I’ll remember her advice to my much younger self: “Write what you know.” It is advice that’s served me well throughout my entire writing career. In fact, it is advice that has defined my writing career. 

I remember how she managed to set the bar high—but not too high—for her students: high enough to motivate you to want to try your best, but not so high that you were doomed to fall flat on your face. And if you dared to aim high, but missed the mark, you knew she would be standing there ready to cushion your fall and to encourage you to try again. You see, she gave her students the gift of unconditional acceptance—a fierce belief in our own worthiness as human beings and our ability to contribute to the world. What an incredible gift to give a group of eleven- and twelve-year-olds who were about to embark on the often rocky journey known as the teenage years.

She fed our brains with literature (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis comes to mind) and instilled in us an appreciation for the natural world. Sometimes she managed to do both of these things at once, taking us outdoors on days when it was too hot to do any work and reading to us as we sat underneath the trees.

A year ago, I had the opportunity to have dinner with Miss Whitson and a couple of my former classmates—to reconnect and reminisce about our time in her class. It soon became obvious that this memorable year in my life as a student had been just as memorable for my former classmates as well. And what stood out in our minds was how special we were made to feel by this inspiring and compassionate teacher. 

Miss Whitson was an educational visionary, practicing relationship-based teaching before people were even talking about the importance of the teacher-student bond. And they’re talking about it a lot these days. 

The subject came up during a recent conversation with Angela DePalma, Chair of the Council that governs the Ontario College of Teachers (the regulatory body that licenses our teachers, sets high professional and ethical standards, and approves teacher education programs) 

“Research shows that’s the relationship between teacher and student that has the greatest impact on learning,” she noted.

And on living, she might have added.

Four decades after I walked out of Miss Whitson’s classroom for the very last time, she continues to have an impact on the person I aspire to be and the dreams I dare to pursue.

That is her legacy to me.

[ This blog post is part of a parent outreach and education campaign sponsored by the Ontario College of Teachers. ]

Mental Health Advocacy Award: Family Association for Mental Health Everywhere

It's been a pretty exciting week for me.

On Tuesday night, the Family Association for Mental Health Everywhere (FAME) inducted me into their mental health advocacy Hall of Fame in recognition of my "contributions to the community's understanding of mental illness" and "untiring advocacy around mental health issues." Past inductees into the FAME Hall of Fame include former Ontario Lieutenant Governor James Bartleman, journalist and author Scott Simmie, mental health advocate Karen Lieberman, mental health advocate Lembi Buchanan, mental health advocate Al Birney, and filmmaker Stuart Clarefield. 

The Family Association for Mental Health Everywhere offers support to families who have a loved one who is struggling with a mental health challenge. They serve families across the Greater Toronto Area and Peel Region through their offices in Etobicoke, Scarborough, Brampton, and Mississauga. "We believe families make up the basic social structure of our society," the organization's website notes. "Family members provide ongoing support and connection for many of our life experiences. This is particularly true for persons who are vulnerable or ill....As an organization brought together by families, we have a thorough understanding of the challenges and emotions experienced in supporting a family member with a mental illness....[We] works hard to ensure that families have a strong voice within the communities. We are based on a self-help model which respects and supports the expertise that families have regarding their mentally ill relative and their experience in the system."

Thank you, FAME -- both for taking the time to recognize my mental health advocacy work and for the truly life-changing work you have been doing in support of families for over 25 years.

Photos from the event.

Taming the Morning Monster: How to Make Mornings Less Stressful for Yourself and Your Kids

Mornings can be stressful for parents and kids alike – and they can be especially stressful at this time of year, when we’re trying to ease back into school-year morning routines. So what can you do to make mornings a little less stressful for yourself and your kids? Here are a few tips.

Do what you can the night before. Clear the deck of any and all tasks that can be tackled ahead of time, things like making lunches, filling out permission forms for your child’s school, and tracking down gym clothes and library books and other items that need to find their way back to school. 

Create a designated area for items that need to make it out the door in the morning. Don’t want your child to forget his sweater and his backpack? No problem. Park them by the front door. Worried he’ll still manage to forget the lunch that is (by necessity) still camping out in the fridge? No worries. Stick a note on his backpack to remind him to swing by the refrigerator before he makes the mad dash for the school bus.

Think simple and healthy when you’re planning breakfast menus. Save the super-involved breakfasts for weekends, when you have a bit more time for cooking and cleanup. Stick to basics on weekday mornings. Team up protein with complex carbohydrates so that your kids will have the fuel they need to function at their best while they’re at school. Think smoothies, whole-grain toast, hard-boiled eggs, fresh fruit, and other quick-and-easy breakfasts. (Tip: Make French toast whole-grain bread ahead of time. Zap it in the microwave for a couple of seconds and top it with fresh fruit for a yummy and nutritious breakfast.)  

Establish a predictable morning routine. That way, your kids will know what they’re expected to do — which will help to reduce the number of reminders required from you. If you have a child who struggles to stay organized, create a checklist based on that morning routine and hang it on the bathroom mirror or the refrigerator door — somewhere he’ll be sure to see it. Better yet, get him to create his own checklist (so that he can take responsibility for organizing his morning routine and come up with the reminder system that will work best for him).  

Factor some breathing room into your schedule. Curveballs can and do happen, so plan to get up at least 15 minutes earlier than your schedule demands. If you make a conscious effort to build a bit of a time cushion into your morning routine, you won’t have to rush yourself and your kids in order to make up for lost time. Tip: If you’d like to start your day by enjoying a bit of quiet time on your own before everyone else is up, you might consider getting up even earlier than that. Taking care of your own needs first will help to put you in a calm and positive state of mind — a great way to start your day. You’ll have the luxury of feeling in control (as opposed to feeling like your day is controlling you).

Bullying Prevention Tips for Children Who Are Struggling

by Ann Douglas

It’s not your imagination: children who are struggling with mental health, neurodevelopmental, and behavioural challenges are more likely to be bullied—and/or to bully—other children. 

Not only do they tend to exhibit behaviours like depression, anxiety, and excessive aggression that are likely to make them targets of bullying: they have fewer opportunities to play with other children and work on all-important relationship skills like cooperation, empathy, and perspective taking—skills that make them less likely to want to bully others.

So what can parents, teachers, and other caring adults do to reduce the likelihood that a child will bully or be bullied? 

Give your child the opportunity to work on his relationship skills. These skills don’t fall into place easily or naturally for every child. Some children need some extra help with relationships skills, including the art of relationship repair. (Things can and do go wrong in relationships. Children need to know what to do in order to fix those problems.) 

Help your child to forge some key alliances. Relationships reap tremendous dividends when it comes to protecting a child against bullying and reducing the likelihood that a child will bully others. Children who have a strong relationship with a teacher are less likely to engage in bullying or to be bullied; and children who have a strong relationship with at least one peer are less likely to be bullied. 

Teach self-advocacy skills. Children who are being bullied can be taught how to ask for help in a way that strengthens relationships, minimizes conflict, and encourages the other person to want to help. At the same time, it’s important to let the child know that he has your support. Your child needs to feel the strength of your caring: to know that you’ll do whatever you can to make things better, starting right now. 

Model the behaviours you wish to see. Join forces with other adults to create communities that are characterized by kindness and mutual respect so that children grow up knowing how they should expect to be treated and how they should expect to treat others.  

Resources:

Prevnet.ca

Red Cross RespectED 

Ann Douglas is the author of Parenting Through the Storm: How to Handle the Highs, the Lows, and Everything in Between (a guide to parenting a child with a mental health, neurodevelopmental, or behavioural challenge). 

This post was originally published on the website of the Canadian Red Cross.

April Online Events for Parents and Educators

Most of the events I am involved with these days take place face-to-face in schools or at parenting conferences. 

Next week is a little different: three of my events are taking place online.

If you've had a hard time making it out to one of my face-to-face events (geography and/or family commitments can make it a challenge to get out to an in-person event, for sure!), maybe you might be able to make it out to one of these online events instead. Here's what you need to know about each:

Tues. Apr. 21, 2015: 9:00 pm to 10:00 pm
Parenting Through the Storm Webinar
Hosted by Morneau Shepell Children's Support Solutions
Webinar description and registration details. (The webinar is free, but pre-registration is required.)
UPDATE: Link to webinar recording.

Wed. Apr. 22, 2015: 12:00 pm to 1:00 pm
Parenting Through the Storm Webinar
Hosted by the International Bipolar Foundation
Webinar description and registration details. (The webinar is free, but pre-registration is required.)
UPDATE: Link to webinar recording.

Wed. Apr. 22, 2015: 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Parents and Educators Working Together Twitter Chat
Hosted by the Ontario Ministry of Education: Early Years Division
Follow the #leadershipshine hashtag on Twitter to join in the conversation.
UPDATE: Storify post summarizing the highlights of the chat.