Bullying Prevention Tips for Children Who Are Struggling

by Ann Douglas

It’s not your imagination: children who are struggling with mental health, neurodevelopmental, and behavioural challenges are more likely to be bullied—and/or to bully—other children. 

Not only do they tend to exhibit behaviours like depression, anxiety, and excessive aggression that are likely to make them targets of bullying: they have fewer opportunities to play with other children and work on all-important relationship skills like cooperation, empathy, and perspective taking—skills that make them less likely to want to bully others.

So what can parents, teachers, and other caring adults do to reduce the likelihood that a child will bully or be bullied? 

Give your child the opportunity to work on his relationship skills. These skills don’t fall into place easily or naturally for every child. Some children need some extra help with relationships skills, including the art of relationship repair. (Things can and do go wrong in relationships. Children need to know what to do in order to fix those problems.) 

Help your child to forge some key alliances. Relationships reap tremendous dividends when it comes to protecting a child against bullying and reducing the likelihood that a child will bully others. Children who have a strong relationship with a teacher are less likely to engage in bullying or to be bullied; and children who have a strong relationship with at least one peer are less likely to be bullied. 

Teach self-advocacy skills. Children who are being bullied can be taught how to ask for help in a way that strengthens relationships, minimizes conflict, and encourages the other person to want to help. At the same time, it’s important to let the child know that he has your support. Your child needs to feel the strength of your caring: to know that you’ll do whatever you can to make things better, starting right now. 

Model the behaviours you wish to see. Join forces with other adults to create communities that are characterized by kindness and mutual respect so that children grow up knowing how they should expect to be treated and how they should expect to treat others.  

Resources:

Prevnet.ca

Red Cross RespectED 

Ann Douglas is the author of Parenting Through the Storm: How to Handle the Highs, the Lows, and Everything in Between (a guide to parenting a child with a mental health, neurodevelopmental, or behavioural challenge). 

This post was originally published on the website of the Canadian Red Cross.

Dear Parent of a Child Who is Struggling....

Here’s what other parents want you to know about parenting a child who is struggling with a mental health, neurodevelopmental, or behavioural challenge.

• You and your child are not alone. 
• Having a child who is struggling doesn’t make you a bad parent -- just as being a child who is struggling doesn’t make your child a bad kid.
• It's important to reach out for help as soon as you begin to suspect that there could be a problem and to tap into support from others who truly understand the challenges that you and your child are facing.
• You don't need to be afraid of obtaining a diagnosis. A diagnosis doesn't define nor does it limit your child. A diagnosis simply provides a snapshot of information about your child -- information that can helpful to you in zeroing in on the most effective parenting strategies and in tapping into supports at school and in the community that might not otherwise be available to your child.
• You don’t have to wait until your child has received a definitive diagnosis before you start trying to make things better for your child and your family. You can make stress management a priority for yourself and your child. You can help your child to learn how to manage powerful emotions and to develop coping skills. You can use parenting techniques that bring out the best (as opposed to the worst) in your child. And you can make physical health a priority for yourself and your child. Physical health helps to support mental health. 
• It is important to learn how to be an effective advocate for your child -- and to help your child to develop strong self-advocacy skills. And it is important to take a solutions-oriented approach when you’re advocating for your child at school or within the child-youth mental health care system. 
• It is important to give yourself permission to experience joy  -- even if your child continues to struggle. You don't have to put your happiness on hold until some future day when life is perfect. You can allow yourself to experience joy in your life right now.

Ann Douglas is the author of Parenting Through the Storm: How to Handle the Highs, the Lows, and Everything in Between (a guide to parenting a child with a mental health, neurodevelopmental, or behavioural challenge). She is also an engaging and inspiring speaker who sparks important conversations about parenting and mental health.